Finding Your Calm in the Holiday Chaos | Coping With Holiday Stress & Emotions
- Danielle Abrenica
- Nov 25
- 2 min read
A gentle guide to navigating holiday stress, grief, and emotional overwhelm
As the holidays approach, many people feel a mix of emotions: joy, excitement, nostalgia, and connection. But for others, this season can feel heavy, overwhelming, and emotionally charged. If you find yourself feeling anxious, lonely, sad, or irritable during the holidays, there is nothing “wrong” with you. This is a very human response.
The holidays have a way of bringing old feelings to the surface. And often, it makes sense.
Why the Holidays Can Feel So Emotionally Intense
The pressure to feel happy can be exhausting.
We are constantly surrounded by images of perfect families, joyful gatherings, and magical moments. Social media, commercials, and movies often paint a picture of what the holidays should look like, and when our real lives don’t match that image, it can lead to:
Feelings of inadequacy
Disappointment
Loneliness
Shame
Grief
For many, the holidays also highlight loss, absence of loved ones, broken traditions, strained relationships, or memories of painful past experiences. Certain smells, songs, or rituals can unintentionally activate old wounds and emotional memories.
This doesn’t mean you’re weak or broken.
It means your body remembers.
How to Find Calm During the Holiday Season
You can’t control everything this season brings, but you can protect your peace.
Here are gentle, clinically grounded ways to move through the holidays with more emotional safety and self-compassion.
1. Acknowledge and Validate Your Feelings
Start by giving yourself permission to feel what you feel.
You do not need to:
Be grateful all the time
Be happy for everyone else
Pretend you’re okay
Sadness, anger, numbness, loneliness, grief, all of these are valid emotional responses. Practicing self-compassion during the holidays helps reduce shame and emotional burnout.
Try saying:
“This is hard, and it makes sense that it hurts.”
2. Release Perfection & Adjust Your Expectations
You don’t need to create a perfect holiday.
Instead of chasing perfection, aim for:
Safety
Simplicity
Emotional honesty
Choose traditions and activities that feel nourishing, and release the ones that feel like emotional labor. You are allowed to say no. You are allowed to rest. You are allowed to opt out.
Holiday boundaries are not selfish; they are protective.
3. Create New Traditions That Feel Safe
If old traditions feel painful or activating, you are allowed to change them.
You might:
Create safer, quieter rituals
Celebrate differently
Start solo traditions that center peace
Redefine what “celebration” looks like for you
Healing often comes from choosing yourself without guilt.
4. Lean Into Support
You don’t have to carry everything alone.
Reach out to:
A trusted friend
A family member who feels safe
Talking about what you’re feeling doesn’t make you weak; it often makes the emotional weight more manageable.
A Gentle Reminder This Holiday Season
You don’t have to perform happiness.
You don’t have to ignore your grief.
You don’t have to minimize your pain.
This season can be about:
Self-awareness
Emotional safety
Nervous system regulation
Real connection
Inner peace
Even small moments of calm count.
You are allowed to move through the holidays gently.
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