Understanding Anxiety: What It Is, Where It Comes From, and How to Begin Healing

Anxiety Isn’t Just “In Your Head”—It’s in Your Body, Your Relationships, and Your Story

If you’ve ever felt your heart racing before a big meeting, found yourself overthinking every text in a new relationship, or had a stomachache that seemed to come out of nowhere, you’re not alone. Anxiety is one of the most common mental health challenges, and it doesn’t always look like worry. Sometimes, it shows up as perfectionism, people-pleasing, overthinking, or even shutting down emotionally.

Understanding what anxiety really is—and how it may be rooted in deeper patterns—is the first step toward healing.

What Is Anxiety, Really?

At its core, anxiety is your body’s way of saying, “Something feels unsafe.” It’s a survival response, designed to keep us alert to potential threats. The problem is, when anxiety becomes chronic, your nervous system stays stuck in fight-or-flight mode—even when there’s no real danger.

You might experience:

• Racing thoughts or constant worry

• Tension in your jaw, shoulders, or stomach

• Trouble sleeping or relaxing

• Difficulty concentrating

• Avoidance of people, places, or decisions

  
  

Anxiety is real. And it’s not a personal flaw—it’s a protective pattern.

Where Does Anxiety Come From?

1. Unprocessed Trauma Anxiety often begins as the body’s response to past pain. If you've experienced trauma—whether from childhood, relationships, racialized stress, or sudden life changes—your nervous system may stay on high alert. Trauma teaches your body to expect harm, even when you’re safe.

2. Family Patterns Anxiety can be learned. If you grew up with a parent who was constantly worried, controlling, or emotionally unavailable, you might have absorbed those patterns. Children are like sponges—if your caregiver responded to stress with fear or panic, you likely internalized the message: the world is not safe or my needs are a burden.

3. Cultural and Systemic Stress. For many people of color, anxiety is magnified by systems of oppression. Microaggressions, code-switching, hypervigilance, and intergenerational trauma can all impact your sense of safety and belonging. Anxiety isn’t just individual—it’s also structural.

How Anxiety Shows Up in the Body

Anxiety is physical. You may carry it in your:

• Chest (tightness or shallow breathing)

• Stomach (nausea or IBS symptoms)

• Shoulders and neck (muscle tension)

• Hands (clenching or restlessness)

• Sleep patterns (difficulty falling or staying asleep)

  
  

Understanding your body's cues is essential. They’re not random—they’re messages.

Anxiety in Relationships

Anxiety doesn’t stay in your head. It shows up in how you connect (or don’t) with others.

• Attachment anxiety might make you cling, overthink, or fear being abandoned.

• Avoidant patterns might make you shut down, ghost, or feel smothered easily.

• People-pleasing often stems from a fear that conflict = rejection.

  
  

Anxiety in relationships isn’t about being “too much.” It’s about trying to stay safe in ways that once made sense—but now keep you stuck.

Tools to Cope with Anxiety

You don’t have to stay in survival mode. These tools can help you come home to yourself:

1. Grounding Exercises Try the 5-4-3-2-1 method: name 5 things you see, 4 you can touch, 3 you hear, 2 you smell, and 1 you taste. It brings you back into the present.

2. Breathwork Deep exhalations signal safety to your nervous system. Try box breathing: inhale for 4, hold for 4, exhale for 4, hold for 4.

3. Journaling your fears without judgment. Ask: Whose voice is this? Is this true? What would a kinder truth sound like?

4. Boundaries Learning to say no (even when it’s scary) is a powerful antidote to anxiety. You don’t have to earn rest or prove your worth.

5. Therapy Working with a culturally attuned therapist can help you explore the roots of your anxiety, especially if it's linked to trauma or attachment wounds. At Odile Psychotherapy Service, we specialize in helping people of color heal the deeper patterns behind anxiety so they can live with more ease, confidence, and self-trust.

You Deserve to Feel Safe—In Your Body and In Your Life

Anxiety doesn’t mean you’re broken. It means your body and mind have been working overtime to protect you. You’re allowed to rest. You’re allowed to heal.

If you’re ready to start that healing journey, we’re here to support you.

👉🏾 Click here to schedule a free consultation or learn more about our trauma-informed therapy services, EMDR intensives, and support groups for folks of color.

You don’t have to do this alone.