Someone offered to help you last week, and you said no before you thought about it. Not a considered no, an automatic one. There's a name for that reflex, and it's not a personality trait.

I used to be the girl who wouldn't let anyone put my suitcase in the car. I always had it. Now I don't know where my passport is, and I'm fine. Here's what that shift cost me, what it gave back, and why the control I held onto for so long was trauma too.